ABOUT THIS VIDEO: In the past, I used to get mad when people told me a lame lie. Why? Because I thought it meant THEY believed I was dumb enough to fall for it.
However, I recently stumbled upon a new way to look at this situation. It's not so much about me as it is about the person lying. They aren't thinking far enough ahead to answer the question, "Is this lie good enough for him to believe?" Instead, what they are thinking is, "Okay, he just said something that I can't reply to, so I'm just going to throw out this lame thing and hope he buys it."
I also provide an exercise on how you can begin to implement this in your own life. It involves a black pen, a red pen, and a piece of paper. Write down the lie they told you in black ink. Then, like a teacher, go through it with your red pen and make notes on any part of it that are questionable.
At first this might seem like a lot of work, and it is. After all, who has time in the middle of a conversation to do this? You can't tell the other person, "Wait a minute. I need to write down what you just said and analyze it for BS." So let me just say this is something meant to be used when you are talking through email or text, because that gives you the time to stop and analyze the lie.
However, you CAN use it retroactively after a phone conversation. Let's say someone made a questionable statement while you were on the phone with them. At the time, one of two things could have happened: either you were unable to verbalize how that statement was nonsense, OR you didn't realize it until you thought back on the conversation later. In any event, you can always use this exercise later, then get back to them and say, "Hey, remember when you said XYZ the last time we talked? Well, I just realized that is a lie because of..."
Obviously, coming back to them after the fact is like those moments when you think of a good retort days after an argument, but sometimes you just have to do what you can. We can't always exercise our wit to the best of our ability when we are put on the spot.
Also, I will say this: over time, you CAN get better at spotting people's BS and calling them out on it WHEN IT HAPPENS. You just have to have faith in yourself. Keep plugging away, and it will come.